R. Kelly- Getty Images Photo Cred. “... in practice the standard for what constitutes rape is set not at the level of women's experience of violation but just above the level of coercion acceptable to men.”
― Judith Lewis Herman
The Lifetime Channel exploits, again. Lifetime intentionally markets sensationalized storylines that feature the hurting, raped, destruction, and violence towards our black women and men for a dollar. And what did we do?
We tuned in.
I question you Lifetime. Is there a victim's fund? Are the young girls- now women receiving psychological help or counseling? After revealing significant trauma and the show ends, are there any after care plans in place for the victims?
I mean Lifetime, we are talking about young girls who have internalized degradation, humiliation, sexualized images of self worth, and trauma. We are talking about a black woman baring burdens of ridicule, jokes and memes with #SheTooUglyToBeRaped, #VhingRhamesSister. #MeToo has become joke fodder for people to poke at. Nothing about this is funny.
Rape is ugly. People are beautiful. There is nothing funny about degrading a women looks as justification for why she could not be raped. That is disgusting and I urge every man and woman to have just common decency and love. Honestly, everyone is beautiful in some way.
People, we are talking about societal corrections of black men not being able to stand and say no brother you are wrong without being typecast: sellout. We are talking about years of fathers not telling sons not to cross respected lines-that women are not possessions to be controlled. We are talking about a lifetime of girls being taught how not to be raped; instead of, telling our boys how not to rape.
...And we are frustrated, at the justice system that allows people of non-color: Charlie Sheen, Paul Walker and others to never feel the same wrath. We are frustrated that our heroes fall when it takes so much for us to rise. Yet, we should not be shocked. Karma and universal law states what is done in dark must be lit. Kelly had to fall. He was dark. We saw it. We knew it. We just stayed quiet-ashamed to admit that we had seen it occurring.
We stayed intentionally ignorant while uncles take daughters and cousins in back rooms. Underage girls brag about 7-15 year age gapped boyfriends. We listen to the stories of what was bought and encourage them to get more. We allow them to go on dates, to be picked up from school, driven home, and in our homes predators sit. Communities talking about-he is so respectful- as if a rapist are supposed to show their violence or their fangs.
We are defensive at being attacked for opinions. Rather wrong or disgusting...it is America and we can't pick and choose when we allow people to speak.
Which brings me to my biggest point and maybe my only point after this sprawling essay of a lot and a little. We can't wait as Black folks to be JUST when it becomes popular opinion: to resist.
This behavior of R. Kelly and other stars was provided, helped, and nurtured by parents, fans, greed, people serving their own self-interests, and some of the young ladies who were trained to get more.
Beyond all there is one absolute. R.Kelly is a troubled, dangerous, predator who symbolized the classic abused becoming abuser tale. It is sad. It is vile. R. Kelly is wrong. The victims are hurt.
It is not the victim's fault. Stop victim shaming.
It is R. KELLY'S fault and the worse part is: We knew. We ignored his demons to buy concert tickets, music, and sell-out parties. We ignored the uncle in the next room sliding hands and sitting girls on laps. We ignored what was ugly while trying to say that it was genius, beautiful, and not repulsively disgusting behavior.
It is time we stop letting Lifetime choose who we will love and hate. It is time for us Black folks to decide that we will do more than just become the Amen corner while the show is on. It is time to resist the darkness of this world all the time. We can't just be just and righteous when it's popular to do so.
As always: Live, Learn and Love. I love ya'll.
- Urban Thoughts
― Judith Lewis Herman
The Lifetime Channel exploits, again. Lifetime intentionally markets sensationalized storylines that feature the hurting, raped, destruction, and violence towards our black women and men for a dollar. And what did we do?
We tuned in.
I question you Lifetime. Is there a victim's fund? Are the young girls- now women receiving psychological help or counseling? After revealing significant trauma and the show ends, are there any after care plans in place for the victims?
I mean Lifetime, we are talking about young girls who have internalized degradation, humiliation, sexualized images of self worth, and trauma. We are talking about a black woman baring burdens of ridicule, jokes and memes with #SheTooUglyToBeRaped, #VhingRhamesSister. #MeToo has become joke fodder for people to poke at. Nothing about this is funny.
Rape is ugly. People are beautiful. There is nothing funny about degrading a women looks as justification for why she could not be raped. That is disgusting and I urge every man and woman to have just common decency and love. Honestly, everyone is beautiful in some way.
People, we are talking about societal corrections of black men not being able to stand and say no brother you are wrong without being typecast: sellout. We are talking about years of fathers not telling sons not to cross respected lines-that women are not possessions to be controlled. We are talking about a lifetime of girls being taught how not to be raped; instead of, telling our boys how not to rape.
...And we are frustrated, at the justice system that allows people of non-color: Charlie Sheen, Paul Walker and others to never feel the same wrath. We are frustrated that our heroes fall when it takes so much for us to rise. Yet, we should not be shocked. Karma and universal law states what is done in dark must be lit. Kelly had to fall. He was dark. We saw it. We knew it. We just stayed quiet-ashamed to admit that we had seen it occurring.
We stayed intentionally ignorant while uncles take daughters and cousins in back rooms. Underage girls brag about 7-15 year age gapped boyfriends. We listen to the stories of what was bought and encourage them to get more. We allow them to go on dates, to be picked up from school, driven home, and in our homes predators sit. Communities talking about-he is so respectful- as if a rapist are supposed to show their violence or their fangs.
We are defensive at being attacked for opinions. Rather wrong or disgusting...it is America and we can't pick and choose when we allow people to speak.
Which brings me to my biggest point and maybe my only point after this sprawling essay of a lot and a little. We can't wait as Black folks to be JUST when it becomes popular opinion: to resist.
This behavior of R. Kelly and other stars was provided, helped, and nurtured by parents, fans, greed, people serving their own self-interests, and some of the young ladies who were trained to get more.
Beyond all there is one absolute. R.Kelly is a troubled, dangerous, predator who symbolized the classic abused becoming abuser tale. It is sad. It is vile. R. Kelly is wrong. The victims are hurt.
It is not the victim's fault. Stop victim shaming.
It is R. KELLY'S fault and the worse part is: We knew. We ignored his demons to buy concert tickets, music, and sell-out parties. We ignored the uncle in the next room sliding hands and sitting girls on laps. We ignored what was ugly while trying to say that it was genius, beautiful, and not repulsively disgusting behavior.
It is time we stop letting Lifetime choose who we will love and hate. It is time for us Black folks to decide that we will do more than just become the Amen corner while the show is on. It is time to resist the darkness of this world all the time. We can't just be just and righteous when it's popular to do so.
As always: Live, Learn and Love. I love ya'll.
- Urban Thoughts