Angels are not holier than men or devils. Men wait on angels to come. Men panic at the devils they create. We wait on God to come. We wait on miracles to happen. We do not choose to be angels or miracles when we have the power and authority to create both. Carrie was my angel. I have battled severe depression all my life and we met at a point, where honestly I had very little to be proud of. Carrie Marie Stewart created miracles everyday. We connected over lesson plans and plotting on how to retain scholars that would be drop outs from my high school into her classes to complete GED and alternate young adult classes to provide an opportunity for a brighter future. The beauty of Carrie was that she never complained about the burden of her wings, she just carried them. She never complained about how many friends thought they were the closest. We all were. She made us all believe that in our times that we were the most important. That was the miracle of Carrie! Her Asian slanted eyes and sharp eyebrows piercing you with the absolute truth. With Carrie she had a profound ability to rip you apart and rebuild you in the exact same sentence while asking you when will you choose to not indulge in drama?
We kissed once or twice. I can't remember the count. Most were pecks on the cheeks but one Valentine's day we really kissed. It was a exquisite kiss of softness and truth with intention and purpose. I asked her, "Why did you kiss me?" She told me, "I wanted you to remember that love does not hurt." She then quickly friend zoned me. We giggled at our awkwardness for the next few weeks. She was my biggest cheerleader for relationships and my ride or die QUEEN Petty when they broke my heart. That in itself is really who she is. She never cared about what she received but always about what she was giving. I found the truest pursuit of happiness is not in being personally happy but in the completion and ability to make others. Carrie taught me that. Right after her stroke almost, a year ago we sat and giggled. I poked fun at her mom and her for keeping me secret. She said, "You not my man." I told her, "Well, I'm here you better hold my hand and like it woman." She lay there smiling, fighting, and being Carrie: irritated that WE would not go home to be comfortable. Many friends came to visit. Many did not. All of us had our reasons. It's hard to see Superwoman down. It makes us realize how fragile we really are and how much we needed her to be Superwoman.
I don't know what lies beyond those stars: Heaven, Paradise, Science, Reincarnation, Existence, or something we have yet to define. I do know this though, whatever it is, Carrie is enjoying the best of it. She deserved it after the work she put in here on Earth.
Thank-you to the family and all her BEST friends. I am sure we all think that we are the one. But to the truest of friends and family thank-you for sharing her with us for these precious moments.
LIVE, LAUGH, AND LOVE.
Poet, Activist, Speaker, Father, Writer, Blogger
#7PD #SEVENPOWERFULDAYS #CHANGEtheNARRATIVE #STRONGBLACKWOMAN #COMMUNITYUPLIFT #LOVE #FORCARRIE #CAREBEAR #FRIENDSHIP